Bleeding Hearts
by willma
Summary: After a tragic separation one year ago, the turtles reunite once again more bitter and hateful towards each other than ever.but when they start showing horrific symptoms of a mysterious disease,they truly realize how deeply they care for one another...
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey guys! I'm back. so this is a new story that I'm working on and I hope you'll like it. **

**Oh, if anyone wants to know when I'll update my last story "Murder" don't worry I haven't forgotten about it...I'll update it very soon!=) **

**_Italics_= past memories.**

**DISCLAIMER: ( Do ya think I own da turtles? *crickets chirp* Yeah, didn't think so!)**

**Reviews are always welcome. Enjoy!**

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><p>Leonardo's P.O.V<p>

Faith is a tricky thing, you can't go on without it but you would do anything to avoid it. People search for a way to escape reality because the idea of a higher power controlling their lives scares them. I, Hamato Leonardo am no different. I've dedicated the last twelve years of my life to my family, to my brothers.

"_Leonardo, my son. you are now the leader of this family and the future head of this clan. I've meditated on this mater long and hard and it is my belief that you are the most qualified for this job. I have the outmost trust in you and I'm certain that you won't let us down_."

Maybe that's where everything started to change. Maybe that's why twelve years later; I managed to lose everyone I ever cared about within a week. If I'd known that bearing this name would cost me my family, I would've never accepted it.

"_Do you think you can accept such a role my son_?"

I remember there was a slight hesitation in my voice, one that made me doubt my decision. It made me think of the consequences of my actions. What if I can never stay up late with Raphie again? What if I can never learn how to dissect a toaster from Donny? What if I'll never be able to play video games with Mickey? What if I would never be the same again?

Those were the thoughts I had as I replied to master's question.

"_Yes_"

I was six years-old and I was a fool.

"_With this katana, I shall mark you a capable warrior, with this mask, I shall mark you a dutiful brother and with this name I call you Leonardo, my strong and compassionate son_."

Capable, dutiful, strong and compassionate. Thinking back I can't help but wonder if those traits really belonged to me or if I was only trying to make them mine.

I remember Splinter;s final word to us very well, it is hacked into my heart like a code. I'll never be able to remove it. No matter how hard I tried to understand what it meant, I couldn't figure it out; it was only one small word…

"Blood"

I shook my head with the hopes of throwing all those painful thoughts out of my mind. They don't matter anymore. It doesn't matter who I was or what I did before. They are all in the past anyways. What does matter is here, is now; it's this eternal torture that matters most.

I've never felt so alone, so miserable.

And as I stand in this dark, empty place I once called home; white crystals blind my vision and slide down my cheeks. It's been a year since I last cried. One year since I've seen my brothers, a year without a family; a year full of helplessness. Actually, today is our one-year anniversary of separation.

I heard a crack behind me. I reached for my sword and with a swift motion, I pinned the intruder to the ground; holding my sword firmly to his throat. He was an elite ninja, one of Karai's high ranked guards and apparently, he was alone. I grabbed him by his cloak and asked" What are you doing here?"

He didn't answer. I pressed the blade harder so that droplets of blood stained my sword.

"Did karai send you?" I spat. "I thought I made myself clear last time, if any of you do as much as showing your dirty faces here the truce will be over." the ninja grunted. I opened my mouth to ask him again but stopped as I heard a small pop coming from the darkness. Before I could move, a tranque dart was shot at my arm. I immediately removed it and reached for my other sword as I looked around .It was dark and my vision was getting blurry.

Suddenly I saw shadows dancing on the ground. They were approaching me, I looked up only to be faced with The Shredder's former Elite guards; dozens of them .They were Surrounding me from every corner. By then, my head was spinning and it was hard to concentrate; four of the main Elites came closer and took out their weapons. I clutched at my Katanas and charged at them with full force, ignoring the vulnerable state I was in…

Raphael's P.O.V

Walking into the dark, thin alley I look up to observe the moon. It's a full moon tonight. It's one of those cold nights when you want nothing more that to cuddle up in a blanket with a big mug of coffee in your hand while you watch TV with your family. Family…

I clenched my fingers into a fist at the thought. I've been doing that a lot lately. Always staying alert and never letting my guard down. The guys at the bar say it's because I'm afraid of getting hurt; it's only Grey who thinks differently.

"Hey Thunder, the moon won't fall off if ya stare at it" It was Grey who was standing by the door.

I let out a small laugh and said "Yeah. I'll come in in a sec."

Grey nodded and went to head back in but stopped and asked in a sympathetic voice "You don' have'ta hide it ya know. I know you're still waiting"

I looked at the sky again just to avoid his eyes. Well, his eye to be precise; he was missing an eye and always wore a patch. He walked up to me and put a firm hand on my shoulder.

"You're not alone kid. The doors to the Freak Zone club will always be open fer ya."

"That's reassuring." I joked. He laughed and led me inside.

The "Freak Zone" club is an old bar that used to be a big restaurant in the late 80s but unfortunately, it was completely destroyed after a gas leak and the owner went broke shortly after so he allowed the place to be re-built into a full-time night club for the ones who don't quite "fit in" with the society.

"Hey guys,Thunder's here." Grey announced as we walked in the club.

"Hey thunder! I didn't think you'd show up today" That was Rosaline. She's one of the bar tenders. The only "under-age" bar tender that is. She's only fifteen.

"Isn't today the day you-"

"Leave it Rose." Grey said in a warning manner and put two bottles of whiskey on the table. One for me and one for himself.

Rose shot him a dirty look and went to get more shots. L.J , who was playing the piano at the far side of the bar turned his head to face me and gave me a short nod; I turned around and tried to draw my attention to something else. There were a bunch of new "customers" in the corner playing pool. They all wore ski masks with black leather jackets. They kind of looked like professional rubbers in their costumes.

Anyone who enters "Freak Zone" has to have a costume. That's the rule. This club only accepts "Freaks"; the ones who come to this place either have no where else to go or have a reason to hide their true self. I'm no different. Except for Grey, no one knows the truth behind my "costume".

I looked at Grey poured me a shot of whiskey in his pirate costume and passed it to me.

"Wanna talk bout'it?"

I drank my shot and asked"Talk about what?"

Grey gave me the look that said "you know exactly what."

"There's nothin ta talk bout Grey. I'm okay really. I've forgotten all about them…It won't matter if I never see them again"

Grey gave me a sad smile, he leaned closer to the table and asked in a low voice "Then why are you still waiting for him to come?"

I sighed and took the whiskey bottle out of Grey's hand and started gulping it down. With every drink, my mind became fuzzier.

It doesn't matter anymore…

"_It doesn't matter where you go Raph!" Leo shouted in the dark alley. "No matter how far you run I'll find you!" His eyes where shining under the moonlight._

I'll forget about everything…

"_I'll wait until we forget everything! I won't come until we get over this…_"

I don't need a family…

"_You, Mickey and Donny. I'll find you all when the time comes. We can be a family again._"

Once again, the door to the Freak Zone club opened with a loud creek; but this time, there were no lonely idiots with freaky costumes at the door. They wore costumes for sure, but I knew them too well…I felt their presence even before they walked in.

The Foot.

I reached for my Sais. The empty bottle of whiskey slipped off my hand and shattered to pieces.

Everything happened so fast. I don't remember when the music stopped playing or how L.J ended up lying on a pool of blood. All I remember is hearing Rosaline's terrified scream and Grey's voice shouting my name…my real name…

"_Wait for me Raph, I'll come get you once we stop hating each other so much…_"

I don't hate you anymore, any of you…

"_Even if it takes us years to get passed this its ok."_

I'm already passed it…

"_Goodbye Raphael_."

__fifteen years ago_, on that cold night, in that dark alley, I stood. I stood as I watched my brother walk away just as the other two did. And that moment, I wondered what faith would put in my way. A little further down the block, there was a neon sign blinking, a sign that said "welcome to the Freak zone night club" I wondered how things would change in the future…_

Donny, Mickey, my baby brothers, where are guys? Are you doing well? Or are you just as miserable as me?

Leo, I'm already over it…so why won't you come and get me?

Donatello's P.O.V

Beep…

Beep…

Beep.

I open my eyes with the sound of my alarm clock everyday. Now, the funny thing about these annoying devices is that they are only bought by people who have a reason to wake up every morning. They belong to those who don't want to miss even a single moment of their lives no matter what. And so, they set up an alarm clock every night to help them remember why they should wake up from the dream world. I'm no different. Except that I don't have anyone worth waking up for, nor do I have an interest in my life. But I still own one because it makes me feel organized; it makes me feel as if I still have some kind of control over my life.

I got out off my bed and rubbed my eyes; I don't know why I'm so tired these days; it's as if something's sucking the life out of me…maybe it's because I don't see the point in living anymore. I pushed passed the thoughts as I heard the door click open.

"Donny, I'm here"

"Hey April. You're early today" I walked up to her and noticed she was carrying three big paper bags.

"What are those?" I asked as I helped her carry them to the kitchen.

"Groceries. What did you think? I thought maybe you would need them since you don't have anything else other than coffee in this place."

"I have food"

"Really? Like what?" she asked in an annoyed tone. When I didn't answer, she sighed and sat on the chair in front of my computer.

"What am I going to do with you Don?" Her voice was sad and desperate.

I looked down and rubbed the back of my neck. What was I supposed to tell her? She knows the truth anyways. She knows that everyday I wake up at four o'clock in the morning and do nothing but random research on my computer as I stare at my watch every five seconds hoping that time would pass by faster?

April knows everything. After all, she's been coming down here everyday for the past year.

We didn't say anything for a few minutes until April decided to break the silence.

"Why don't you just give up?"

"Wha-"

"Face it Donny, this show that you're putting on-"she pointed to me "is not working."

I looked down again as if I was trying to burn a hole on the ground by staring at it closely.

"You are wasting you're life like this! Making up excuses like doing crappy research won't get you any where Don. Are you planning on hiding yourself in here forever? Just stop it. I know you're blaming yourself for what happened but it-"

"DON'T TELL ME IT WASN'T MY FAULT!" The house went dead silent.

"DON'T YOU DARE TELL ME I'M MAKING UP EXCUSES" April looked terrified as I was practically screaming my lungs out.

But it doesn't matter. I'm tired of this. I'm tired of this life; I'm tired of this place, tired of everything…

"You don't get it April, I-I hated them! I wished they were dead…

"_I hate you! I hate you all…!"_

_"We would've been fine without you Leo!"_

_"For once in you life stop messing things up Raph!"_

_"What the hell were you doing when I was gone Donny?_!"

"If only we were a little bit more understanding…"

"_How did it come to this? You were once loyal brothers to one another; you were a perfect team, a whole. What on earth made you do this to yourselves?"_

"Answer me Raphael! This is the third time this has happened. Leonardo! I expected more from you. Michelangelo, explain yourself. Donatello…your brothers are bleeding, help them."

"If I hadn't allowed my anger to blind me that day…"

"_I won't_"

"If I'd stopped hating their guts so much and attended to their wounds…"

"_This is the last chance I'm giving you boys. Either one of you steps up and gives me a good reason why I shouldn't take away your birth right as ninjas right now, or I'm going to have to make a decision._"

"If I'd stepped up and begged for forgiveness that night…"

"_I won't…they're not my brothers anymore."_

"Then Master Splinter wouldn't have died the way he did!"

Tears ran down my face as I collapsed into April's arms and cried my heart out.

"_Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello and Michelangelo. I've made a decision; one which I think is for the best…"_

"None of this would've happened…"I said between my sobs." A-And now I'm all alone, I've lost everything and I'm just as useless as ever."

"_I'm no longer your father and you are not my children... since I was the one to bring and raise you together, I'll be the one to separate you as well. There is no place for you here, not until you realize how much you need one another; you all must follow your own paths and gain your own experiences; only then, you'll know what it means to have someone as close as a brother next to you."_

_Tump..."Leo!" _

"April" I sniffed, "Do you think he knew what was going to happen? Was that why he told Leo before he-"I asked with a muffled voice.

"Donny you-"April's voice was cut off by the sound of something exploding. Suddenly, the air smelled funny. It was as if I was breathing into a sac full of gasoline. My head was hurting and I couldn't see April anymore.

As my mind faded away, I asked myself if there is a way to turn back time, a way to change things.

But if I were to go back, what would I change?

_Fifteen years ago, as I stood beside my bleeding brothers and denied my relationship with them I wondered, is this really how our story ends? I don't know where faith is going to take me this time; I don't know what I'll do next. But, one thing I know for certain is that if I die now, the last memories of my life would be filled with regret, sorrow and misery._

Is this really the end?

Michelangelo's P.O.V

New York. They say it's a city that has no sleep. I once loved this place, the idea of staying up all night and watching the city lights with my brothers always made me happy; but as I stand in front of the foggy window and observe the dazzling lights, I feel nothing but grieve. I used to smile freely everyday, without a care for the world; my brothers called me the baby of the family, they always said I didn't understand reality but the truth was, I understood what was out there perfectly; it was just that I'd always felt secure around my bros to the extent that I never wanted things to get serious between us, and even if it did, I could always solve it by cracking a joke or two; I never thought there would come a day when I would be the first one to give up. To walk away.

"Yo, Mickey."

"Huh-wha?"I snapped my head and saw Carol standing beside me next to the window.

Carol chuckled and said "The kids are giving you a head ache again?" I shook my head in disagreement "Hey bro, I understand. Spending the rest of your life taking care of orphaned children isn't exactly your thing" She said.

"It's not like that Car. I love the kids and I'm happy here, you and those little kids are all I've got"

Carol flipped her blond hair back playfully and said "Aw, you don't have to be so sweet you know? I'll still let you stay here even if you act like the over-grown goofball turtle you really are."

I grinned sheepishly and asked "Are the kids asleep yet?"

"No, you're gonna have to go up there and read their favorite story to them _again!_" Carol marked.

My grin fell at the mention of the kids "favorite story" . Carol seemed to notice that too because she put a hand on my shoulder and said "I know, I know. I'll buy them another book soon so you won't have to read that to them but honestly big guy…If a kid's story like that can shake you up so hard, what's gonna happen if you really meet your brothers?"

"I won't"

And with that I gave her a small smile and made my way upstairs to the kids' room. Carol can always see through me so quickly, even though she can be a real pain at times; I'm forever thankful to her…if it wasn't for sixteen-year-old Carol Hale who took me in the orphanage last year and took care of me despite of knowing who I really was, I would've been dead by now.

I stood in front of the closed door and took a deep breath. Now is not the time to be thinking about this. I opened the door with a click and entered the room. The eight little kids where all sleeping in their beds soundly. I walked in the room and tucked them in properly. As I was putting Roger who was hanging upside down from his bed, he made a mumbling sound; I froze and watched as his eyes opened and grew wide with joy and before I could react, he opened his mouth and shouted cheerfully "Wakie, wakie guys! Uncle Mickey came to read to us!"

I muttered "You rascal" under my breath and kneeled down to greet the seven little screaming kids that charged at me joyfully.

"Mickey, Mickey weed us the butterfy book pweeees!" Three years-old Selena said while grabbing my hand tightly.

I sighed and patted her on the head "Okay, okay I'll read it if all of you guys are in bed in three seconds"

"Yepeeeee!"

After successfully placing the children back into their beds, I grabbed their favorite book from the bookshelf, opened it and started reading but as I went on, I started having that feeling again, the feeling of someone scratching and cutting my heart out; the same feeling I had when I left my brothers.

"Mickey? Why did you stop?" Little Ronny asked from his bed next to the window.

I blinked my eyes and realized that I'd stopped reading a while ago "Sorry squirt, I spaced out a bit. Where was I again?"

"You were weeding the part where the butterfies were talking to the flower!"

I found the sentence and started reading again and as I read, memories from the past filled my mind…

"…and so, the red butterfly refused the flower's offer to take shelter in her flower-cup, for she wouldn't allow his three little brothers to escape the harsh rain with him. What could they do? Their house was locked and no one was home. How could they survive the night?

_The Rain poured down my skin like acid, It was weird since I normally loved the rain but tonight was different, tonight , everything around me stinged my soul to the core. And it wasn't because my arm had a big gash on it, no, the wound I was suffering from was much deeper than this…much deeper. As I ran from one rooftop to another tears slid down my face and mixed with the rain droplets. I asked myself, why am I doing this?_

"The brother butterflies tried dozens of flowers but all of them refused to give them shelter, for they only had room for one."

"_Mickey stop!" It was Don who caught up to me first. He was breathing heavily and his broken hand was loosely on his side._

_"What the hell are you doing? Why did you leave?"_

_"Why wouldn't I leave Don?"_

_"Hey-over here! Mickey!" Raph ran up to me with Leo walking slowly behind him. He looked like he was shell-shocked. Maybe he was. After all, master Splinter had just died right in his arms._

_"You ass-hole! What da hell were ya thinkin, taking off by yourself?"_

_I fell silent and gasped for air. I was glad it was raining because my brothers wouldn't be able to see my tears._

"The rain poured and poured and the butterflies were devastated, but they still held on to each other bravely and didn't let go…

"_I'm done with this….I-I can't take this anymore!"_

_"Mickey-"_

_"Shut up Don!"_

_"Everyday I walk into the lair and watch you argue, everyday I listen to master Splinter's disappointed lectures, every night I peek in to Don's lab and see the three of you bandaging yourself up after a fight…AND I SAY THAT'S IT!"_

_"Shut up you little ungrateful squirt, don'tcha dare push all tha blame to us, you're da one who acts like an immature baby twenty-four-seven. And what? You're done with this?" Raph spat. "WELL I'M DONE WITH YOU!"_

"As the droplets of water pierced through their wings, they clasped to each other and prayed for the sun to come out…

"_STOP IT!" Leo suddenly said from behind._

_"No one's leaving! This might be exactly what master splinter warned us about-"_

_"You have no right to talk Leo! This is all your faul-!"_

_"Shut it Raph! Don't think jus cuz I'm younger than you I tolerate your behavior like Leo does. Yeah! Leo's a jerk but you're even worse than him!"_

_"who allowed you to talk braniac! Last time I checked, it was you who fired things up infront of splinter and that'swhy-"_

_"THIS IS EXACTLY WHY I'M LEAVING!" I yelled with all my might. Everybody fell silent_…

"Miraculously, the sun, who was behind a cloud, heard it all, and he knew what good little brothers the butterflies were, and how they had held together in spite of the wet. So he pushed his face through the clouds, and chased away the rain, and shone brightly on the garden…

"_I'm going..I-I won't come back until I've forgiven you. I- d-on't want to hurt anymore…" I sobbed._

_"Farwell"_

_I turned around and started to walk slowly, very slowly because I was waiting for my big brothers to run after me, to snake their protective arms around me and to assure me that everything's going to be ok._

"The sun dried the wings of the three little butterflies, and warmed their bodies. They ceased to sorrow, and danced among the flowers till evening, and then they flew away home, and found the door wide open…

_I walked until I reached the far end of the roof top. I turned around and expected to see my brothers right behind me, but all I was faced with was a bare rooftop with rain pouring down on it hectically. I stood there for hours thinking, thinking and believing that this was all a joke; thinking that my brothers wouldn't give up on me, that they would come back. But after three hours of standing still on that wet rooftop, I finally accepted the truth. I was alone._

_...  
><em>

"Mickey!" my head snapped from the loud scream.

"Help! There's someone in the house!" Carole cried from down the stairs.

I slammed the book closed and ran to the door without a word; I looked back only to catch a glimpse of the children's terrified face. I never got the chance to turn around and look the enemy in the eye either. All I remember was something hitting the back of my head very hard. After that, everything went dark…

In that moment, it was like I was standing on that rooftop again; looking at the empty spot, the spot where my brothers once stood.

I felt lonely ... Every time I read that book about the brother butterflies, I asked myself thousands of times; what would've happened if we'd clasped on to one another like the butterflies instead of letting go? Would we be happy? Would the door to home be wide open for us too?

But even thought I asked myself this, I knew the answer quite well…

It is too late.

Asleep I will dream  
>But not for long<br>For when I awake  
>The world seems wrong<p>

My heart bleeds out  
>It has a hole<br>It's shape, their smile  
>It's depth, my soul<p>

~Bleeding Hearts.

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><p><strong>So? How was it?Should I continue? =))<strong>

**Poem's not mine. It belongs to Matthew Densley. **

**R&R**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N : Hey guys! OMG it's been so long since my last update and I'm sooo sorry about that...I had a lot of school work to do and my sister was moving out so I was really busy ;)) Ok, so personally I don't like this chapter very much because it's mostly a link to my third chapter (where all the action starts ;)) but this was necessary in order to get to the good parts so bear with me PLZZZ ;D **

_**Italics : Thoughts**_

**_Oh, and I like to thank all of you who were kind enough to leave me a review and thank you Scribe of Turesa for correcting my spelling ^_^  
><em>**

**Let me know what you think! ;))**

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><p>Leonardo's P.O.V<p>

_Dizzy…I feel so dizzy. My head hurts. Darkness everywhere…_

_Help me…_

Memories… what are these little slides that flash through our eyes? Why are they important anyways? Why do we always look back to them when we want to take a step forward in our lives?

It all started with a headache, a simple harmless headache that held onto me for a while. At first I thought it would go away…it didn't. I tried to ignore it by practicing my ninjitsu, I tried to deny it by pushing myself harder, I tried to convince myself that it wasn't a big deal but the harder I tried the better I knew it was a lie.

I thought that nobody noticed the recent changes in my behavior, I thought no one really cared that I went to bed early and woke up late, but I was wrong. The day master Splinter asked Donny to check up on me was the worst day of my life. I can still remember the look on Donny's face when he announced that I had a tumor in my brain. The whole household was in havoc.

Donny was tapping away in his computer and doing research on medical records and miracle cases, Mikey was having a panic attack and Raph…well, let's just say he didn't take it well; specially after Donny informed us that the main cause of my tumor is actually due to bearing a great deal of stress for a long period of time. So, naturally the whole family secretly blamed themselves for being "too hard on me". After spending a week and a half locked up in his lab and doing research, Donny barged into my room at midnight, saying that unless I get surgery in a week, there would be an eighty percent chance that I might die.

From that moment on, everything happened in a blink of an eye. while I was to stay put in bed and order Mikey around, April came down to help Donny gather medical information and prepare for the surgery, As for Raph, well he literally avoided any possible contact with me; although he was the one who "borrowed" all the surgical supplies from the hospital , he couldn't even look me in the eye.

Master Splinter spent two-thirds of his time in his room meditating and when he didn't meditate, he kept looking at me in a certain way…it was one of those looks that told you something big was going to happen. I just wish I knew what it was before it was too late…

_God everything's so dark... Someone get me out of this, I don't want to be reminded of those painful times..._

"Leo…"

"Leo!"

_Someone's calling my name. Is that Raph? Where am I? Why is he here?_

"I don't want to…" I mumbled and tried to open my eyes._ But why does my head hurt so much?_

"God damn it Leo, wake up!" I felt Raph hold my arm and shake it hard.

I slowly opened my eyes and found my red masked brother who was barely visible in the dark towering over me. I could tell that his muscles were tensed from the way he was holding my hand. I blinked and tried to adjust my eyes to the darkness. It took a few minutes before I could fully see Raph's gleaming eyes staring at me.

"Raph." I sounded like I'd swallowed a chain saw for dinner. Raph just sat there and looked at me with a pair of indefinable eyes. I tried to speak again but a strong wave of nausea hit me. Raph immediately took my hand and helped me sit up. I tried to avoid looking at him and wondered if he'd missed me as much as I'd missed him._ There's no way. After all, you were the one who started it._

I closed my eyes for a few seconds and prepared myself to face him properly but when I looked up, I saw a stranger in front of me. My once strong and arrogant brother had been replaced with a turtle whose eyes reflected nothing but sadness, grief and a sense of longing which was ever so familiar to me. I understood right away. It was the same look he used to give me as a six-year old every time I came back home from a meditation session in the mountains with master Splinter. It was a look that told me he had missed me while I was away.

A part of me was so relived to see that little boy within his eyes once again. I exhaled and slowly, very slowly I leaned on to him and laid my head on his shoulder. He flinched at first but after a few seconds, he closed the little distance between us and gently laid his head on mine. I don't know how long we stayed that way, resting our eyes and enjoying each other's company. All I was thinking about was that I finally got to see him and judging from the tiny smile on his face (which I was fully aware of despite the dark), I knew he felt the same way. But as much as I wanted to stay like that forever, I knew that someone had to break the silence soon so I too took a deep breath and prepared myself for whatever came next.

"What happened?"

…

Raphael's P.O.V

"What happened?" Leo asked in a calm and collected manner. The same manner he used to have whenever he switched to "leader" mode.

"How did you get here?" He asked again hoping to get an answer out of me,yet I was so socked and relieved to see him at the same time that it took me a few seconds to register what he said.

"I don't know" I answered as I tried to avoid his eyes "It was the foot, those bloody bastards are back. T-they attacked me! And then-well I don' remember wha happened next" I paused to look at his face. He looked… motionless. What a typical reaction from fearless Leader. _Fearless. How did I ever manage to forget his nickname?_ I asked myself. _I guess he was just Leo in my eyes while we were apart._

"Mikey! Donny!" Leo shouted and I realized that I completely forgot to tell him that he and I weren't the only ones who got knocked out by our _friends_. I remembered feeling so whole, so complete when I first saw them after I woke up. For a moment it was as if nothing had changed. That we were still a family.

"Don't worry; they're just unconscious like we were. I checked" I said, trying to calm him down.

A little to the right, Donny and Mikey laid motionless on the ground. The only sign that proved they were still alive was the steady rise and fall of their plastron. Leo seemed to notice the same thing because he gave out a sigh of relief and closed his eyes for a few seconds. I remembered doing the exact same thing when I first woke up and saw them lying there.

"Where are we?" Leo asked as he crawled closer to our baby brothers and put a hand on Mikey's forehead.

"Huh?"

I was so engaged in my own thoughts that I couldn't even hear Leo talking. I snapped back to reality and said "I don'tknow, it's really dark here and I can't see much ; but I think we're in the sewers, this place looks exactly like our old l-"I couldn't bring myself to say the word. It reminded me too much of what we'd lost. Leo seemed to understand because he didn't ask further; he just kept caressing their foreheads as he mumbled something under his breath.

We were in a relatively small room surrounded by brick walls ._Wherever we are, it's close to the sewers_. I immeadatly knew it because I could hear the water running down the pipes from here, and besides, the place stinked really bad! _Heh,_ _I guess I've been up on the surface for too long._

Something about the place reminded me of our old home. The one that we were forced to abandon by our own father.

'What do you think those things are?' Leo pointed to a bunch of what looked like machines in the middle of the room. But it was too dark to know exactly what they were.

"I think they're machines. But we need to turn on the lights to be sure."

" We won't be able to do anything if we keep staying here. We'll wait until Don and Mikey wake up, after they're up, we're gonna have to find out what happened to us so we can figure out our next move ." Leo turned to look at me as he spoke "I'll have to find out exactly why Karai would dare pull an attack on us after what happened last year."

Something inside me started to boil. I couldn't put a finger on it but the way he spoke made my head feel heavier than usual. It's just like the feeling I used to get whenever Leo ordered me around. If the situation was a little different, I would say I even missed feeling this way but it's been fifteen months already; nothing's the same anymore. I shook my head and realized that I'd been spacing out again because I heard Leo call my name .

"Raph? Are you ok with this?"

I took a deep breath and gave him a small nod in agreement. I can deal with other stuff later.

We sat in silence for another few minutes but the atmosphere was different from when Leo first woke up, it was heavy. Awkward._ Great_… I thought about saying something but Leo broke the silence first.

"So are you going to tell me what happened?"

"wha-?"

"How did you end up here? What were you doing before you were captured?"

"I was-"then it suddenly came back to me. My eyes widened in horror. How could I ever forget? The club! My friends!

Leo turned his head to see why I suddenly stopped talking. I guess I looked more terrified than I imagined because he was by my side in a second asking me if I was hurt anywhere.

I shook my head to assure him that I was fine. Well, physically at least. I think he said something else but I was too worried about Grey and the boys to care. There's no other way. I have to tell him about the club. I'm positive that he aint gonna like the idea of me hanging around with a bunch of humans in public yet alone in a night club! Wait, why do I care what he thinks anyways? Last time I checked, I was the one who wanted to be free from his mother hen attitude._ Yeah. It doesn't matter to me if he gets disappointed_. I reasoned to myself.

"Raph! What is it? Why ar-"

"I need to tell you something"

"Shhh!"

I was taken aback by his response. _How dare he shush me after everything that's happened_? I was about to throw him a nasty comment when I saw something in the dark. Donny's hand was slightly twitching.

I was by his side in a second, grabbing his arm and calling his name with Leo.

My immediate younger brother stirred and mumbled something under his breath. He suddenly snapped his eyes open and sat upright as if he was electrocuted. Grabbing his throat with both hands, he then started to cough violently; throwing his head back and forth.

I was so shocked and terrified at the same time that I couldn't do anything to help, I turned to Leo who looked like he was attending a funeral; i wanted to snap him out of it but before I could do any of that, Donny's coughs stopped completely as his eyes fell upon us..

My purple-masked brother looked back and forth between us for a few seconds.

"Don!" Leo cried and tried to get closer to him but Donny leapt forward and hit him in the plastron. Once, twice;

"Who the hell are you?" He shouted.

"Leo!"

I moved to stop him but to my surprise, my blue-masked brother held out a hand as a sign for me to stop as his other hand gently caressed Donny's bruised and scratched knuckles. Donny seemed to calm down a little bit because he slowly lowered his fists and took deep breaths.

"Don? Are you okay?"

"Raph?"

...

Donatello's P.O.V.

_Oh god! My head throat so much… cough._

_ what happened to me? cough. _

_So dark…I- I can't see anything._

_Someone's calling me. I can't see his face. My eyes are sore. Wait- is that a blue mask? Why is it so familiar? Who does it belong to? I don't know where I am…I-I don't remember my name!No-no-no! I'm hallucinating! Someone must've abducted me. Yes! This is only temporarily! I just have to turn on the lights and everything would be okay._

_Someone just grabbed my arm! No! He's going to hurt me!_ I leaped forward and threw my fist at my opponent with all I had. It connected with flesh and made a slight cracking sound. He tried to grab my hands again but I jumped him and pinned him to the ground as I shouted "Who the hell are you?"

I raised my fists to hit him again but to my surprise , not only didn't he fight back but he took my aching hand and gently whipped the blood off. I blinked twice. Now that my eyes are adjusted to the dark I can see things more clearly. Suddenly I heard another voice coming from the back...

"Leo!"

L-Leo? Something inside my brain snapped and memories flashed through my eyes._ I remember everything! But wait- There's just no way that Leo would be here and besides, April is the only one who knows where I li- April! What happened to her? That noise…those guys…the Foot! They're back!_

"Don? Are you okay?"

I opened my mouth but my voice came out with a low, shrieking sound.

"Raph?"

My eyes were adjusted to the dark by then and I could see my brother's faces quit well. They both looked pale. older. Raph had lost some of his muscular build while Leo's muscle tone was pretty much the same instead my red masked brother looked more physiologically healthy than Leo.

"What are you guys doing here?"

"We don't know…we just woke up ourselves" Raph said in a low voice.

"Do you know who's behind this?" I looked back and forth between my two brothers.

"Yeah, it was the foot. I saw them"

'Wait…you never said anything about actually seeing them!" Raph told Leo accusingly.

"Well I was a little busy waking up after getting hit by eight tranque-darts" Leo snapped back.

"What? You got hit? Where? Are you injured?Ho-" I paused. It was so silly how checking my brothers health was still a habit of mine._ Even though it was me who wasn't able to fix him…_I lost my trail of thoughts as I noticed Mikey lying on the ground beside me.

"Mikey!"

"Don't worry, he's unconscious like we were" Raph assured me and turned his head to look at Leo.

"So tell us exactly what you saw before you were knocked out"

"They were at least thirty soldiers. All Elite guards."

I flinched at hearing their name and noticed Raph did too.

"I fought with all of them by myself, I actually had a shot at winning but then they started shooting those darts…"

Leo looked at the ground and sighed. He has always been the first one to blame himself no matter what the situation is. _Unlike me…_

"But I wasn't shot by any tranque-darts… for me it was just getting hit in the head by tequila bottles and metals clubs-oh- and there was this gas"

"This Ga-" I wanted to ask but Leo cut my words as he put on a deathly-serious expression.

"What did you say you were hit with?"

I looked at Raph. He had this Oh-I- shouldn't-have- said-that expression on his face.

"Where you at a BAR?" Leo practically shouted.

For a moment Raph looked like he was about to make an excuse or maybe even apologize like old times but that momentarily expression passed as his lips curved into a grin.

"No big brother. I wasn't at a bar" Raph answered coolly. But then his grin widened as he said "I was in a night club"

And with that, so many Oh-so-joyful memories came to my mind. They were from during the time when Leo was absent and every night involved me dragging a few badly beaten gangsters along with a Blood-bathed Raph out of a night club.

I think Leo was thinking of the same incidents because his face looked paler (If that was even possible) and he was inhaling and exhaling sharply as if trying to control his anger.

"Oh what's the matter Leo? Is there something wrong with me hanging out with humans in a good-old club?" Raph feigned confusion. "So where have you been this past couple of months?" his voice was low and dangerous…

I wanted to interrupt them or even try and break the tension but…

"Guys! Mikey!"

No…

"Oh my god!"

Not again…

"Don! Do something!"

Not again…I don't want to be in this situation again…

"There's blood! DON!"

God…if you're out there, don't let me go through this again.

"Why are you standing there?"

Please….

* * *

><p><strong>So? Was it too disappointing? Should I continue ? <strong>

**next chapter: I'm sorry for leaving Mikey out of this one but there will be a lot of him in the next chapter! P.S. what really happened last year between the turtles? Why are the foot after them?**

**R&R ;)**

'


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